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A new website is under construction for my upcoming book. You will find chapter excerpts, helpful links, a blog, and all the rest.
Meanwhile, to be notified about book availability, please sign up here for the publisher's mailing list.
Thanks for your interest.--Gina
My Book: Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?
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Why Adult AD/HD?
Currently, my work centers on creating awareness about Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD)--in adults. An estimated 9-30 million adults in the U.S. alone experience some degree of impairment from AD/HD symptoms. But only a fraction (less than one million) know that they have it. Many fewer are pursuing treatment or finding effective treatment.
I stumbled upon this issue when trying to help a close friend navigate a healthcare system poorly equipped to recognize this extremely common condition--much less help people figure out how to mitigate its more problematic aspects.
Yes, I say healthcare system, not mental healthcare system. Last I checked, my biology textbooks say the brain is an organ. The most complex and vulnerable organ of all! With all we are learning about the brain, we can finally stop relegating all "behavioral" challenges to an unhappy childhood, errant potty training, poor character, or bad feng shui.
For eight years, I've volunteered as the moderator of local and international online support groups for adults with AD/HD or their partners. After talking with hundreds of people with AD/HD and their partners--as well as the parents of young people with AD/HD--I feel we can no longer afford a 16th Century mindset (or a 1970s' era therapy model). It's simply too fraught with human pain, suffering, and alienation.
AD/HD might be news to some, but to people who've actually been living with it, it's the invisible enemy they've wrestled with for 20, 30, 40, and even 80 years. And they're so grateful to finally have an explanation that makes sense.
This is the 21st Century. Neuroscientists have paved the way to new possibilities for us all. I consider these brain-science breakthroughs reason for rejoicing, at finally having answers and solutions. They are not reason to wring our hands at scary new concepts about the brain and behavior. And yes, sometimes medication.
Over the years, I've also learned that many late-to-diagnosis adults carry emotional baggage--accumulated decades of misjudgements, inexplicable frustrations, and, often, defensive reactions. Less recognized, however, is the fact that their loved ones can accumulate parallel baggage from living with a partner's (or a parent's or sibling's) inexplicable behaviors. Ignorance about AD/HD makes everything so much worse.
Over time, the critical need became obvious to me for one comprehensive, nuts-and-bolts guide. It would need to translate into everyday language how Adult AD/HD tends to challenge relationships and also to outline proven success strategies (the evidence-based kind). So, I decided to write it.
My book primarily targets the partners of adults with AD/HD, because they are often the first to connect a partner's challenges to AD/HD symptoms. But it also serves as a practical guide for adults with AD/HD as well as their friends and other family members. I hope readers will find it helpful and even life-changing.
(For a variety of reasons, I don't use the term non-ADHD partner. Chief among them: Some people with AD/HD also have a partner with AD/HD.)
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A Bit about the Book
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder. Publication date: August 31, 2008, from 1201 Alarm Press
World-renowned couples-therapy expert Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. is the cofounder of Imago Relationship Therapy, a model of couples therapy highly recommneded by leading ADHD experts. (Standard couples therapy that fails to recognize AD/HD often makes things worse!) He is also author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples.
Dr. Hendrix offered this endorsement after reading an advance copy of Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?:
“MOST BOOKS ON MARRIAGE OFFER INSIGHTS AND HELP TO COMMON MARITAL problems such as the traditional conflicts around sex, money, children, time, and in-laws. They offer credible solutions such as conflict management, improved communication, and problem solving skills.
“This book is different. For some couples these problems are exacerbated by the often unnoticed presence of a particular neural wiring in the brain, called Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, that makes traditional solutions ineffective. This book describes ADHD in detail and with empathy and helps couples with this added challenge find hope and solutions.
“I recommend it highly to all couples whose troubles seem incomprehensible, and for all couples therapists it should be required reading to help them distinguish between ordinary conflict and the roller coaster of this syndrome.”
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You can find more professional endorsements of Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? here.
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Free Podcasts on Adult AD/HD
For an entertaining introduction to Adult AD/HD issues, including its unique take on relationships, listen to these informative audio shows:
KQED's Forum Radio Program on Adult AD/HD:
This program, taped August 27, 2007, examines Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder as it occurs in adults, including its prominent features, treatments, and possible stigma. Click here to listen online or download the podcast. (Forum is one of the most popular and well-regarded discussion shows on public radio, so you might want to check the archives while you're there.)
Host: Michael Krasny
Guests:
 Lew Mills, Ph.D., marriage and family therapist who works with adults with ADHD in San Diego.
Margaret Cochran, Ph.D., psychotherapist in Los Altos, California, and producer of the podcast "A Mental Health Moment"
Stephen Hinshaw, Ph.D, professor and chair of the department of psychology at UC Berkeley and a long-time investigator of ADHD in children, adolescents and now adults. Dr. Hinshaw has authored a trilogy of books examining stigma surrounding mental illness, including The Mark of Shame: Stigma of Mental Illness and an Agenda for Change.
Gina Pera, a journalist and author of Is It You, Me, Or Adult A.D.D.?: Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder
A Mental Health Moment podcast on "The Romantic Roller Coaster":
Host: Margaret Cochran, Ph.D., a Los Altos, California psychologist specializing in AD/HD.
Guest: Gina Pera
Click here to listen online or download the podcast. And, please note other shows on bi-polar disorder, AD/HD, and much more. Dr. Cochran has an engaging way of translating complex subject matter into easy-to-understand concepts.
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